The Low Bar

As you know, for the month of February I took on the Embrace the Suck challenge.

Despite the name—or maybe because of it—I actually enjoyed it. 

Well, some days. 

As I wrote about last time, I enjoyed the process. The practice of doing so many small things in service of a singular goal. 

But there were some low moments. Some workouts that really, truly sucked. 

Funny thing, though: one of the revelations I had came after one of the suckiest workouts. 

It happened when I woke up feeling pretty good. Which was in stark contrast to how terrible I felt the day before, which included a pounding headache, exhaustion and a bit of nausea. 

On the bad day, I got through it. Barely. 

But on this day, feeling “pretty good” was like feeling amazing by comparison. And in noticing that, an old concept popped into my head: “forgive but don’t forget”. 

I don’t know about you but I always thought about “forgive but don’t forget” like this: that you forgive someone, but you don't quite forget, because you should hold onto the experience for risk purposes. Like, if they burned you once, they might do it again.

But on this particular moment, I realized that maybe forgive but don't forget means something more like this: 

Remember the low bar so it helps you appreciate everything above that bar. 

In other words, forgive. But in that process of forgiving, don’t forget how bad things were. Not so you can hold a grudge. But so you can appreciate where you are today. 

That morning, I thought: I forgive my body for being bad to me yesterday and putting me through pain psychologically and physically, but I don't forget it. Not because I want to hold on to it and punish that moment consistently, but rather because it made me appreciate how much better I felt today. 

I realized that goes for a lot of things. 

What if we thought of previous mistakes or bad situations as a low bar that helps us appreciate everything above that bar? 

I think that’s a part of the process of getting better and better: we don’t try to forget the past, or hold onto resentments or mistakes. Instead, we appreciate those things because they serve as reminders for how far we’ve come. 

- Steve